i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
