Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
