The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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