How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
