If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
