My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
