i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
