Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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