i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
