Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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