I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
