This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
