As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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