i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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