I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
