Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
