my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
