as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
