Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
