he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
