im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
