you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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