Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
