We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
