So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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