I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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