I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
