I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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