Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
