mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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