i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
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Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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