I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
