there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
