This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
