I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Randomize
