I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
