Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
