Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
