Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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