i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize