I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize