You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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