No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
