I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
