I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
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Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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