how can u be prego again
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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