I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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