Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
