I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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