Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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