guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize