I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
