just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
