no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
