Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
