I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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