Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize