god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize